The half of it, by Half-man

By halves we live. Half-way of a marriage, we desire somebody else. Half-way of desiring somebody else, we get involved with a third one, behind a counter or hanging from the same bar.
Half-way between the neck and the heels, there is a butt we phantazise about. Since the butt brings back less responsibilities, we know for the better, that being gazed back by eyes, which gaze over a shoulder, from the edge of a body which turned its back on us, is much more exciting. A body with no face means the ultimate nakedness, the one which we don´t even need to obtain.
By halves of halves we suffocate.
I met on the street, yesterday, a Portuguese, a retired one, one of those left-behinds in August. But this one was left on his own, many Augusts ago. He stated and he proved that he lives on 40 Euros a month. Since he had to retire after being run over, by a car, in the city, he's still discussing a compensation with the Insurance company. The Insurance takes time because this man is already on the eve of a fifth operation and his problem could be cut short. He also asks for alms. His name is Augusto Santos Sousa and he lives in Rua das Gaivotas, n. 28, 1362-Lisbon, P-Portugal. I gave him the 50 Euros I had in the wallet and decided to have a cold dinner, composed of left-overs, sitting by the fridge and thinking on the half of a sardine can a day, Augusto is getting by. He also raised his voice telling that he hadn't studied ( the equivalent of the sixth grade, quite a feat for a guy of his generation and background) to live through that humilliation. But he calmed down and stated he was going to have a substantial meal, after speaking to me. He tried to kiss my hand.
The day before I saw four men around a trash bin. One was an aged Nigger, with his penetrating, almost laughing look, the other was an Ucranian with his shaved head and his fraternal gesturing, and his leaning ahead attitude, as a man ready to work even if he didn't have eyes or legs. The other two were asians, dark and short as anguish. They were partitioning a bunch of fresh sardines that somebody had thrown away. In four parts.
They were living by quarters.
And soon we'll be living by less than quarters. In the abyss of selfishness and total madness, we'll be partitioned in much more than quarters.

1 comment:

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